I was recently reminded of how many pieces go into allowing me to be an outwardly functioning human.

Let me rephrase that last…

A well-managed and regulated human.

Notice how easy it is to slip into the socialized, shame-inducing framing we are so used to?!?

I have spent the last 5ish years learning about the nervous system and practicing on my own.  This has meant that I am constantly tracking my system, staying engaged, and sorting through the whys, hows, and next steps. 

On a longer time frame, I have been dealing with and managing my own chronic illness.  I’ve experimented with diet, exercise, a battery of supplements, and lots of downtime over the last 15 years.

Many things have worked, some haven’t, and some work, but I’m unable to maintain them for one reason or another.

The work I do in Renaturing is all about bringing us (specifically, our nervous systems) to a state of general regulation.  Where we can manage day-to-day, whatever that looks like, with our faculties available and on board. 

That looks different for each person.

And it changes. 

Because once we get the feeling of regulation and stay in it most of the time, then the graduate work can start.

We can resolve and heal stuff/trauma/stress that has been stuck in our bodies for months/years/decades. 

When that happens, sometimes we can shift significant outward symptoms.  This happened to me when, after 2 years of personal work, in one session, my almost daily migraines became once a quarter or less.

It feels miraculous.  And we don’t know which or how many of our symptoms are physical manifestations of chronic nervous system dysregulation and trauma. 

But I take each shift and change in myself and my people as amazing.  It doesn’t matter how many times I see these changes and symptom alleviations; it’s sweet each time.

And.

Sometimes I forget that the myriad supplements, a good sleep regimen, healthy eating habits, and dedication to not overdoing it (in anything) help keep me upright and relatively pain-free. 

With increased financial pressure, I decreased one of my supplements a few months ago.  And then I messed up and decreased it again when I was setting out my pills for the week. 

By Wednesday, I was unable to sleep soundly because of pain. 

I put it together and upped that pill to the original amount.  And now I have to wait for it to build up in my system again…

My work with people centers around the nervous system, chronic stress, and trauma, and how they affect the body.

So that’s where I spend most of my brain power. 

I have read and discussed with people the other aspects (diet, supplements, exercise, etc.) specifically as they pertain to me and my organism, but that’s not where my expertise lies.

That’s on you.  I’m happy to work through your material on these topics as they relate to your past, triggers, and nervous system regulation.  And I can’t help but care so much that I will sometimes share what has worked for me, in the hopes that my people might hit on something that helps them.

But it really is all a big puzzle, managing this animal that I am.  Perhaps it would have been different if I had started it all 25 or 30 years ago…  maybe not.

Then again.  I like puzzles.  My mind loves putting pieces together, revels in the complexity.

At least, it does when I’m feeling regulated and have some capacity to work with!

Part of my job is to help you be your own private investigator. 

Which, tangentially, means I have been learning to become my own PI, too.

About a month ago, I discovered a piece of information that had significant repercussions for my near-term future.  And have been chewing on it on and off since then.

However, I’ve also had several other things going on… You know: life, work, play, and both normal and abnormal things.

So when I had migraines or headaches every day for 3+ weeks, I was desperate to figure it out.  Was it something I was eating?  Was it the amount I was working?  Was it just the seasonal change?

Then it occurred to me that this constant pain might have coincided with the information I found in September. 

That was surprising. 

Then, it was not surprising at all, as I began to tease out the various old wounds that had been touched- either by the initial info/realization or by the mental contortions I went through in the following weeks.

It still took me another week to 10 days to work through enough of the knots for the physical symptoms (daily headaches) to ease.  There’s still more I need to sort out and resolve in my system.

I would dearly love for my system to speak to me in a language other than pain.

And I know that it has always tried other ways- and for *reasons*, I was able to ignore every other avenue.

So painful it is.

… I’m assuming that there were other indications this time around that my triggered system didn’t catch.

Lately, though, I do catch it!  I notice that I can use the information to resolve the underlying trauma and initial emotional or mental discomfort.  Sometimes, all I need to do is notice that I’m reaching my capacity and back off.

And that brings me hope.

In the aftermath of my pain receding, I have found myself utterly thrilled with my work (again).  Last week, I had some fantastic, landmark sessions with clients.  This week, the groups I ran got me extra excited. 

It’s good. 

This work is good. 

Hope is good.

Part 2:

I had a client ask me this week for tools and strategies to use when life throws them a massive curveball.

I understand this need.  This desire. When we get smacked down, we want to know that we can keep it from happening again.

I didn’t have a satisfactory answer… to begin with.

You see, when something big happens, we will get thrown.  That’s just how it works.  It’s wildly uncomfortable, and we aren’t sure we will ever recover (whether that feeling lasts for a moment or for years).

And in that moment, we enter a state of nervous system survival – fight, flight, or freeze.

Any of these states includes a rearranging of physiological resources.  In fight-or-flight, energy will flow to the large muscles, allowing us to act.  In all three states, we don’t need to spend resources on digestion, so that slows to stops.  And in all circumstances in which the nervous system activates this high level of energy, it travels from the prefrontal cortex to the amygdala. 

What this means in relation to the question of new tools and strategies is that we are literally not using the part of the brain that would hold these calm, measured concepts.

So no.  I can’t hand out ways to make a big bad not throw you.

But that’s not the whole answer.

By a long shot.

In this case, with the client I have been working with for over two years, we examined how their response differed this time compared to how it would have been in the past.

Years ago, they may have collapsed into a depression (freeze state) for a prolonged period of time.  Or perhaps they would have raged and burnt a whole lot of bridges.  They might even have decided that it was pointless to try (or have tried) this thing, and move off in a different direction, as fast and unplanned as possible.

Instead, in the seven days between receiving this bit of news and our scheduled appointment, they acted differently from any previous time. 

Of course, they were thrown and a mess for about 24 hours, but they also reached out to a friend.  Then they emerged from the abyss enough to chat with their friend, in a way that allowed them both to process a little and pendulate away, acknowledging that there was a greater world still chugging along.  As the days passed, there were (are) still periods of grief and bewilderment, but there have also been everyday moments, as well as times when they could look clearly at what needed to happen.  And they became increasingly able to be present with themselves and with other important people in their lives.

By the time they saw me for their next scheduled session, their body was actually doing OK.  And our attuned relationship brought them the rest of the way to a calm, regulated nervous system state within just a few minutes.

Instead of trying to soothe this hurting human’s desire to take control of the uncontrollable in the future, we examined how it had gone this time and how different it had looked. 

We considered and processed what it has taken to get to this point.  Learning where their capacity edges are each session and gently working within them.  Resolving the trauma and held stress that has come up in the process of our work together. 

In short, we have been slowly, organically, and sustainably establishing new neural pathways for dealing with circumstances and growing our nervous system capacity to handle both big and small things.

This client ended the session this week calm and more confident in their resilience than I have ever seen them.  They went through something huge and managed it in a new way.  They didn’t need tools; they had everything they needed onboard.

When circumstances short-circuit our thinking, there isn’t much we can do that’s fresh or new.  Our brains won’t come up with these new ideas. And if they do, they won’t be able to use them effectively.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t change and do things differently.  It simply means that there’s no pill, tool, or quick fix for it.