As a child, I was low-key (or not) discouraged from being me.  The big, bright, bubbly, enthusiastic spirit that I would have been was too much for the household. 

There’s no recrimination, here.  Things were crazy in my house.  Everyone was doing the best they could.

But there is lingering grief.  And there sure are coping strategies and patterns of behavior.

For instance, when I start to get excited and talk a lot, I have an automatic break that comes on.  It’s a voice that says I need to settle down.  It demands that I’m taking up too much space.  I shouldn’t be this big.

It sucks.

Because I’m doing stuff that’s amazing.  I’m a healer and a teacher and so much more.

And every time I go to share that and get enthusiastic, I have a voice in my head telling me to settle down, I’m too much.

And more…  I have people, some of you, who are voicing their excitement and support for me.  And it feels like too much.  I’m too much.  I should get smaller.

You know what?  It shouldn’t feel like that.  What it should do, to have people expressing love, is remind me of being a kid and being loved and supported and encouraged in being the most me I could possibly be.

So I have my personal work cut out for me! 

I’m on it.  I’m not sure I will ever *not* have my own practitioner.  But I’m certainly leaning on them now!

In the mean-time.  Thank you.  If you’re one of those folx who have been standing up beside or behind me and expressing love and enthusiasm for me and my work.  Thank you.  From the bottom of my heart.

If you are so moved, keep doing it.  Because this is the place I need to expand into.  I know it.

🙌I need to step into the fact that my YouTube series “Grounding Connection” is live: https://youtu.be/V2EJPMsLQCg?si=c8SXjJYBCUKY8BzC

🐝And I need to step into the fact that my running groups around climate change is an integral part of my future: https://betsykudlinski.com/grounding-connection-renaturing-in-community-with-climate-change/

And that I kick ass as a one-on-one practitioner. 

People keep saying it.  To their friends and circle- who then come and see for themselves!🤷

And I just watched the 12 sessions that I recorded for the YouTube series.  Know what?  They’re good.  I’m good.🤯