I understand my job as holding space for your nervous system to figure out what it needs to do to complete incomplete stress responses.

Your nervous system knows what it needs to do.  Sometimes we just need to get you out of the way.  Sometimes I need to create the sense of safety that wasn’t there.  Other times, every bit of skill is involved to develop a relationship and draw those responses and associations out of hiding.

I mostly work on Zoom, so I’m flexing a slightly different muscle than I do in person. 

And there’s another way I do this, too.

Touch work.  Or, rather, virtual touch work.

If, in a more talk-y session, my role is to hold an energetic container around us both, then my “hands” narrow that container.  It could be a body part, like an old injury.  Or it could be your old broken heart.

With full consent for every touch, I will carefully “place” my hands where I feel they will help.

I get tactile feedback on what is going on, and your body gets to focus very specifically on an area.

I’m also trained in Reiki, and this is entirely different.  There is no energy transfer. 

Not that there isn’t movement, but that my role is different.

As with everything in this, we all have different capacities to feel this, as practitioners and clients. 

I have some clients who feel my hands as physical weight, presence, and warmth on their bodies.  These folx tend to love this facet of the work and really notice how much they get out of it.

Others don’t feel a thing.  In these cases, I suggest that doesn’t mean there’s nothing going on, and that as long as it doesn’t bother them, we can continue.

Often, in a case like this, the sense will grow with the work and your nervous system capacity.

This additional facet of the work makes for endlessly fascinating and diverse sessions.

Sometimes, a session looks almost exactly like a talk therapy session (with long pauses for feeling). 

Other times, we stand and move around. 

 Or we could spend the whole time talking and pausing, but I have my “hands” on your shoulders (or back or wherever) for a lot of it. 

 On the other end is almost no talking, except reflections of what’s going on under my hands or through other parts of your body.

The touch work tends to feel the most woo to me.  Especially because it’s virtual. 

 It also feels perfectly natural, as someone who has spent my whole life working with animals.  That’s a very hands-on type of work.  Well… except for the tigers!

I’ll talk more about touch work, but I wanted to introduce the topic.  If you have questions, I’d love to hear them.  What are you curious about with this?

Incidentally, I found out by accident that virtual touch can be used in a group setting, but “touches” everybody.  Which is bizarre.

After finding that out, I haven’t tried again in a group setting!

I have mentioned that I am taking a new training to further develop and expand my skills and tools.  As I imagine I will continue to do for the rest of my life.

This training, so far, has been specifically to help the person/nervous system I am working with to regulate. 

Regulation is one of those fussy, jargon-y terms.  Practically speaking, what I’m looking for is not necessarily calm.  If someone is in a freeze, they are, in effect, too calm.  However, a regulated system is relatively calm, settled, and alert with ease.  It’s a place from which you can hang out quietly, in full presence, but be ready and available for the next thing. 

So not too calm.  Not too activated.

The Goldilocks Zone

This training that I am in is specifically to help the body/system find regulation through focused attention and (potentially) touch.  There isn’t much talking involved.  Instead, we both focus on various parts of the body, inviting that sweet spot.

When I first started learning it, I had to remember that some of the techniques I had been using for years felt weird when I first learned them.  These are similar.

But the more cutting-edge physics, nervous system, and sensory science I read, the more I can make sense of the why-this-works. 

 So I invite my clients to “play pretend” if they can’t feel anything.  Most of the time, accessing that play capacity allows us to feel more than our socialized brains will accept.  It’s pretty cool.

What’s even more impressive is that I have been using this new-to-me work for a couple of months now, and it has significantly improved some of my clients’ experiences.  For good!

Helping clients to become more regulated has helped with sleep, anxiety, overwhelm, and more.  It has increased my effectiveness in working with individuals with highly sensitive nervous systems.

There’s something magical about the mundane use of attention, presence, compassion, and focus. 

I don’t consider myself particularly special when it comes to using these healing tools. 

Instead, my background in working with animals and my sensitive system set me up to use the tools with care, precision, and good instincts.

It’s delightful and fulfilling to continually improve at helping my fellow humans discover their true nature.

Oh!  And when I use these new techniques, they help me and my system as well.  Win, win!