When I think about working with groups, I look at it from my past, my own point of view.

This comes from decades of working with herd animals and working with herds of 3-600. 

I have talked about how I carry over my knowledge of working with non-human animal nervous systems to working with human nervous systems.  And this weekend, I am assisting at another SE training module.  There will be almost 60 people in the room, so large groups are what I’m thinking about right now.

When working with one animal or human, it’s pretty straightforward.

I hold a grounded, regulated state and offer that to the system across from me.  My goal is to track the nervous system and encourage it/them/you to slow down and consciously allow all of the steps that need to happen to do so.

If I add in a few more animal or human nervous systems, then it becomes more complicated.

To a certain point or number, I am doing two things.  I am still holding that groundedness and regulation, offering coregulation.  And I also keep tracking the individual systems in the “room” (usually a Zoom room, but not always), inviting completion of activation and settling.

I’m doing something else, too, though.  I am encouraging all of the small group of nervous systems to integrate into an additional “single” group nervous system.  And then also tracking and holding that new, temporary system.

With a larger group or herd of individuals, tracking the individual systems becomes impossible.

Instead, the task changes slightly.

There is also always the awareness that this group/herd is made up of extraordinary individuals who all function slightly differently from the group/herd norm.  But the dynamics flip at some point, so that it’s less possible and (perhaps) less important to treat everyone separately.

Of course, I’m still holding a regulated, grounded state, for myself, for coregulation, and as an anchor. 

Then, if the herd or group is established, I am tracking the greater herd or group nervous system.  I monitor the outliers, but mostly a large group system needs to reach some critical mass of a new nervous system state before I need to change what I am doing, asking, or offering.

If the herd/group is not established, then that is one of my first tasks.  I encourage the creation of that new collective system so that there is some unity and something for me to attend to.

Anyone who has been to a large class, concert, protest, or the like can attest to how quickly and powerfully that collective nervous system can develop. 

This is groupthink.

Individually, you might react differently, but one of the actual physical benefits of being in a herd (group) is that everyone syncs up.

Whether you think of a herd of wildebeest on the Serengeti or a peaceful protest, mutual cooperation is imperative.  There are always some individuals watching for danger, some completely calm and doing their thing, and some entertaining themselves in different ways. 

There are always little swirls of difference within big groups, some bit of activation, some sleeping, etc. 

But until it reaches a certain percentage of the herd/group, it will naturally calm back down.

So, my question is: just as when we feel the season shift into spring, how many individual human or non-human animals does it take before there is a change in how they behave and are therefore treated?

I wonder if it is an individual thing.  Perhaps some of us have the capacity to hold a group of 6, 9, or 15, both as individuals and as a single entity.  While others can only hold 3 or 4 at a time.  I find myself at about 6 to 9, personally.

For anyone wondering about my group-work prices, all of this goes into my calculations.  It takes more work to work with a small group than with an individual, and that cost increases to a certain point.  Then there’s the flip: from being less about the individuals and more about the group.

My practitioner/mentor and I spend some time each week chatting and sharing about our practices.  It’s a fantastic way to learn and cross-pollinate.  I value the extra time she gives me, while also knowing that she gets something more out of our relationship than just money.

For instance, she has run groups and collaborated with many people for a long time, but she hadn’t led a group based on SE principles.

I have been doing groups that incorporate SE for a couple of years now.

Which means that my practitioner has heard all about them from the start! 

She was with me while I was sorting it out, feeling into it, and recognizing how wildly impactful they can be.

And she has continued to hear me crow and gush about how much I love cultivating the container and fostering new community experiences for folks.

(When I asked one of my own clients/group participants about where she has “found her people”, she thought about it and said it was in the collapse group I have been running for almost 2 years.)

In her role as mentor and friend, my practitioner has often asked me to go into how I run groups, create containers, and support my people. 

It is helpful for both of us for me to do that.  I get to process and integrate what works and speculate on why, if I don’t know.

And she gets to be inspired.

We have wildly different backgrounds, with few individuals in common.  I’m distinctly grateful to those who have helped me get to where I am, and I expect my practitioner feels the same. 

She is running her own group this fall, and we have had several rich discussions about how great it is.

We get a little emotional about it!

There’s another facet that we’ve been able to discuss.  One that’s incredibly helpful for me to get validation on.

Adding people to the session is not as simple as it seems. 

We are creating and holding a container for humans to feel safe enough to explore vulnerability and greater states of activation, and settling, with “training wheels” on. 

And each additional person means more interpersonal and energetic dynamics, as well as new and different nervous systems to care for.

It’s not simple arithmetic; it’s exponential increases in effort and skill.

 That is not to say it’s just hard.  Remember how much I gush about group work.

And we stay present while facilitating, mostly feeling energized and nourished by the beauty and alchemy that unfold.

And then it ends… 

My practitioner and I were discussing the importance of breathing and recuperating after leading a group.

It’s real.

And so freaking worth it.

But if you have ever wondered why the groups I run cost what they do, that’s why!

It has helped me better understand the special humans who make good SE teachers.  Teaching the modality while also holding the container for upwards of 50-70 people, including students and assistants.  Whew! 

 As this is a potential goal for me, I’m glad I’m aware of this and working on it now.